Video Discription |
As our leaders gather in Canberra, we send them some advice on how to succeed. #SammyJ
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Biting, bite-sized comedy as Sammy J and his team of troublemakers tackle the news of the week.
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(PIANO MUSIC)
I declare open the 47th Parliament of the Commonwealth.
(PIANO MUSIC)
SONG LYRICS
It's a brand new
Australia, it's a bright
sunny day.
All across the country, you can hear people say,
"There are new politicians in Canberra town.
They're gonna
build people up, not tear people down
'cause the bickering
and squabbling, that's in the past.
The 47th Parliament,
it's going to last.
No more insults
or scandals. They're bringin'
back class
'cause they promised us they're gonna be decent.
And that sounds
fine to me.
(PLAYS PIANO)
Decent, adequate,
good enough, suitable – this could be a thing.
If no one's wanking
on a desk, we'll take that
as a win.
Average, alright, not bad, basic minimum will do.
Just try not
to be terrible, that's all you
have to do.
So to every new member and all of your peers,
I know you've got big plans and shiny ideas.
You wanna set up an ICAC or push for a voice
or tackle the climate. And sure,
that's your choice.
But if you really want to win our hearts and minds,
it's really not that difficult I think you'll find.
Just be decent, adequate, good enough, 'cause the bar's
been set so low.
If you're not screwing
half your staff, then we'll be happy so.
Decorous, demure,
unassuming and respectable – mind your
Ps and Qs.
Like the farmers
said to Babe, "That'll do, pig.
That'll do."
'Cause decency's
a mindset. It's an old fashioned
idea
that you're there to serve the people and not further your career.
And I know there's lots of issues that you're trying to address.
But just don't act like total shitheads, and we'll all
be impressed.
If you're decent, competent, suitable, acceptable,
broadly up to scratch,
not knocking over children at a public soccer match.
Sports grants,
trust funds, French subs,
calling women lying cows.
Or smile and nod,
and just do your job, and look,
we're happy now.
'Cause we're happy
little Vegemites as bright as
bright can be.
We all enjoy our politics rape allegation free.
Normal, standard,
largely forgettable, utterly nonplussed.
If the best you
do is decent, then that's OK with us. |