I'm Lonely In My Marriage: Why Is This Happening?
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I'm Lonely In My Marriage: Why Is This Happening? |
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This Video Uploaded At 31-03-2018 19:49:12 |
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***If you have a question, email is the best way to get a hold of me. Since I'm getting so many responses on YouTube these days, I think it's best to gather all questions in one place so I can keep offering my support and advice. Feel free to email at: kristin@kristincoaching.com
"I am lonely in my marriage." I'm guessing this something you never thought you would say when you first got married. When we initially say our "I do's", the plan is to share a life with someone else forever. There is an expectation of marriage and partnership, expecting you will have someone to share life's hardships and adventures with.
Loneliness in a relationship occurs when you are unable to connect with your significant other. Sometimes couples feel awkward around one another, not knowing how to act or what to say.
When we experience ongoing loneliness in our marriage, often times interactions with your spouse become negative. Fighting becomes common. In order to figure out how to get "un-lonely", you need to figure out how you got here in the first place.
Here are common causes of being lonely in marriage:
1. Busy schedules
Often times in life, we get swept away with all the adult responsibilities we have.
It is a common occurrence for couples to say that their schedules impede them from connecting with one another.
2. Arguing and Disrespect
When you start to disrespect your partner by yelling and having ongoing hostile conversations, you are only going to grow further and further apart. Same goes if your partner is going this to you. This creates an emotional distance in the relationship that causes both of you to feel lonely.
3. Lack of attention
We need our spouses to support us through life. With so many various stressors out there in the world, there are going to be times that you are feeling anxious, scared, worries, upset, and need that shoulder to rely on. An ongoing lack of attention in a marriage can often result in people feeling lonely and alone.
4. Lack of quality time
Again, with so many various life distractions out there, sometimes having 1:1 time with our spouses diminishes. The more time apart we have from each other, the more chances of feeling emotionally disconnected.
5. Lack of physical intimacy
When we take away the intimate moments within the relationship, we lose that sense of connection with our other halves. That can feel sad and frustrating, and it is important that we make attempts for intimacy as much as we can in order to feel emotionally connected.
How To Stop Loneliness From Happening:
1. Talk
Being able to communicate effectively with your spouse is going to be the core relationship skill that will always keep you on the same page. Talk to your spouse as much as you can and express your feelings.
2. Spend Quality Time Together
Having that 1:1 time is really important in order to build a connection and get out of the lonely category. Quality time increases the sense of togetherness.
3. Avoid Blame
It will not help to blame your spouse for reasons you are lonely. The point is, you are in this state now so it's important to future out how to get out of it. Allowing any anger you have to manifest will only create more of an emotional barrier. If your souse is behaving in certain ways that are causing pain, then do step #1. Talk to your spouse about it and do not bottle it up. You can express yourself in a way that is not blaming, but more of a way to identify where you are coming from.
4. Learn to be self-sufficient
Although partnership in a marriage is important, it is also important to learn the limits of when it is okay for you to be self-sufficient and do things on your own. We do not always need our partners next to us when we take on tasks, but as long as they know and are aware of what we do, that can often times eliminate the sense of feeling lonely.
Now that you know the signs that cause loneliness in marriages to happen, it is time to do something about it before it gets worse. Take actions and figure out how to get that sense of partnership back into your relationship. I don’t want you do ever have to say "I feel lonely in my marriage" again. You have the power to do something about your circumstance and feel supported in your relationship.
Kristin Coaching is a relationship coach and dating expert for both men and women. Kristin Coaching loves offering relationship advice to anyone who wants to strengthen their relationship, and have that long-lasting, happy relationship they deserve! |
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