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The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck, By Mark Manson | Animated Summary
There are a lot of things that we give a fuck about. Back when we were cave people, it was integral that we gave a fuck about a few very important things.
Loud noises could mean danger, change of weather could mean our village got wiped out, we needed to find food, and we had to make sure our tribes were strong enough to beat other tribes.
Fast forward a few hundred thousand years, and we live in communities that are made up of millions of people. The United States of America has 300 million people, and our problems are no longer how to get food, they’re no longer how strong our communities are. & If we don’t care about where our next meal is going to come from, then what do we care about?
Ourselves.
Now, we live in a world of ego and hurt feelings. We give a fuck when people talk bad about us, and we give a fuck when someone says something offensive.
We give a fuck about getting more and more and outshining our neighbors, when what we should be caring about is how can we make our lives better for not just ourselves, but our friends, our family, and our community. We care too much about ME. about what I want. Not what is best for everyone, not, how can I best use the resources given to me to help out my fellow man?
The subtle art of not giving a fuck is not a book about looking at the world as hopeless and doing nothing as a result. It’s a bit of a guideline to help you give a fuck about the right things, and let go of the stupid shit you’ve been caring about.
A few bad values that people use to achieve happiness are living by values based on things that are out of your control, not lasting, or socially destructive.
Such as:
Pleasure - Pleasure is dangerous because it feels good to do it. When you’re doing something pleasurable, you’re having a good time. Until you’re not. This is why nearly 70% of Americans are overweight or obese. We have pleasure marketed to us. We will be happy when we get this car, we will be happy when we get this dress, we need to get this next thing before we can be happy. We don’t realize that by chasing pleasure, we’re essentially just heroin addicts looking for our next high.
Material Success - When we are poor, having an extra ten grand a year is really nice. It makes a massive difference in our lives since now we can afford food. But when you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and have a little bit to save, having extra money doesn’t change too much. There’s less and less returns the more money you make. Still, many people decide to prioritize making money at the cost of less time with their family or loved ones.
Staying Positive - If you’re positive, you’re happy, right?
Positivity is something everyone strives for. You don’t want to hang out with negative people, That just brings you down. So why would you be negative? Just be positive mon. It’ll all work out for the best. Then you’ll be perpetually happy, which is what we all want.
Except that it doesn’t work like that.
You need to have some healthy cynicism in your life if you want to get anything done. And if you want actual happiness, it’s found in growing as a person, striving for more, learning new things. What this progress does is build confidence. Unfortunately, when we are embarking on these things, there’s frustration, exhaustion, grit that needs to come into play. You can’t stay positive through all of these things. You have to address when you’re feeling angry, hopeless, frustrated, that’s how we learn.
Some good values you will benefit from living by are achieved internally. They’re reality based, socially constructive, and are controllable.
Such as allowing yourself to be vulnerable, honesty, innovation, and allowing yourself to fail without judgement.
This book is not a book on how to get more, achieve more, be more. It’s a book on how to take blows and move forward, how to let go of outcomes and just rely on being satisfied with whatever happens to you. Some other helpful tips it addresses to live your life by are: Taking responsibility for everything, acknowledging your own ignorance, and contemplating your own mortality.
It’s very stoic in it’s approach to how to handle situations in your life, and can give you new ways to prioritize your life so you have better values that can make you authentically happy as opposed to trying to get your happiness out of validation from others. And ironically, when you live through these better values, you’ll get more and more validation as you go along. But it won’t affect you as much since you have prioritized what’s really important to you. |